My Fifth Grader Is Smarter Than Me

One time, when my son was 2, he threw a conniption fit in the car.  To redirect him, I said, “Hey buddy, check out that semi.”  He looked over his shoulder, turned his head back to me and said, “Dad, that is a flatbed, not a semi.”

Unbeknownst to me, there was a difference. At least someone was paying attention when I read those dozens of truck picture books to him at bedtime.

His report card just came in — straight A’s. I never got straight A’s.

His mom and I joked that one day we won’t be able to help him with his homework.  Our prophecy has arrived early – that day is now.

As I helped him with his homework last week, I realized — this shit is above my pay grade. I did the only logical thing anyone could do; I yelled at him for not paying better attention in class.

I think I just have to face the fact that my fifth grader is smarter than I am.

If that’s the case, who will help him with his homework for the next 8 years? What if he starts calling me “dumbass” in front of my friends?

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