I have a few questions and complaints to run by you regarding the design of my body.
Why did you design my stomach to be expandable?
For thousands of years, humans managed to eat just for survival and stayed thin. Now that the internet and Rachel Ray are here, it seems that many of us have become insatiable hogs.
Why did you give our brains pleasure sensors and endorphins? When I eat a charbroiled steak and it creates a neural pathway equivalent to having an orgasm — something is wrong.
Why did you give us the capability to produce delicious treats like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? We went and invented factories to make millions of these things every day!
We use planes for mass distribution. Now Reese’s and Big Macs are being sent to the other side of the earth and making those petite Asian people gargantuan.
How come when I eat a meal it takes my brain 20 minutes to tell the rest of my body I am full? When I hammer the shit out of my finger, that message is instant.