The Solar Eclipse And Port-A-Potty Madness

In less than 10 days, a total solar eclipse will take place. The anticipated tourism boost has some U.S. towns freaking out. The biggest issue seems to be whether or not they’ll have enough Port-A-Potties.

Astronomers forgot their pocket-protectors.

If you haven’t heard, it has been 99 years since the last total solar eclipse and 7.4 million geeky armchair astrologers are stoked.

You won’t find me anywhere near big crowds at the path of totality. I went to a Nascar race once. When it was over, I tried to stumble to my car with 300,000 other drunk people. It was hell on earth.

Each one of these people are planning to drag their family to the path of totality. Like flies flocking to a stinky fresh turd, they will witness the moon blocking the sun for 2 minutes — then clap and get in their car to go home.

With the frightful lack of Port-A-Potties at these eclipse boom-towns, scientists are predicting the worst case of country-side defecation the U.S. has seen since the Civil War.

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