To Poop In Privacy … Or Not?

Have you ever walked in on someone in the bathroom? Both my girlfriend and I accidentally walked in on my son … he was deeply upset. He had the door closed, but neglected to lock it.

We are not inconsiderate people. In our defense, we always keep the bathroom door closed so that Ralph, (my dog), doesn’t pee all over.

Thankfully, with each incident, my son was quick to let his presence be known. Unfortunately for him … the damage had been done.

There are moments in life when we are vulnerable; most of them involve our pants being around our ankles. If there were ever a time for privacy, it is when we’re taking a dump — even more critical — during the wipe. Think about it…there are acrobatics involved lifting one butt cheek off the seat. It isn’t a pleasant sight to witness for anyone.

I didn’t understand what the big deal was. When I was 4, I enjoyed pooping with the door open. It was a great ventilation technique

Early on, I also did this thing where I would lean back on the toilet reservoir. One day, my mom walked by while I was in mid-poop. She witnessed a vein popping out of my forehead and she made a suggestion: leaning forward might help me generate more force.  I took her advice and cut my pooping strain by 50% along with my time on the toilet. My legs stopped falling asleep and everything.

If I had the door closed, my mom never would have given me advice that would enhance my life forever. I could still be leaning back on the reservoir and wasting countless hours crapping with a veiny forehead.

So go ahead, poop away with the door open … even in a public stall. You never know who might stroll by and offer you the advice that makes you a Pooper-Star.


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