People Like Comedians More Than Engineers

I want to become a stand-up comedian, but there’s a small problem — I am an engineer.

People love laughing and comedians. People don’t like engineers very much. I only know this because my friends don’t call me back or invite me to do stuff.

In my early 20’s I wanted to be a rock star. I converted my bedroom into a recording studio. My father suggested I make getting a degree my “plan B.” I’m SO glad I listened to him. Of course I can’t speak to him about this comedian dream, because I couldn’t bear for him to be “right” again.

The career path of a comedian stinks, so I keep asking myself “why the hell I’m doing this?” In the beginning, you have to go to open-mic’s and practice, for no pay. Then once you start getting gigs, the pay, supposedly, usually doesn’t cover your travel costs.

So far, I have not stepped onto a stage to tell a joke. I can get up in front of people and talk, but doing stand-up in front of a crowd scares me.

Always Proofread Before Clicking SEND

I am a serious guy, and I run a serious business. Coincidentally, my customers are also serious.

It all started with a friend posting a picture on Facebook of a ceramic unicorn candle holder. Seeing it reminded me of a humorous infomercial I came across featuring a unicorn and a product called the Squatty Potty.  (If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend a quick view!)

The video features a unicorn going number two and a nobleman licking the unicorn’s rainbow-colored dooky from an ice cream cone while explaining the logistics of the device and how it makes going number two easier. Brilliant, right?

I enjoy making others laugh, so I thought, Let’s share this. I went to YouTube and copied the link to share; I just needed to toggle windows, paste into Facebook, and PRESTO!

But before I could see my endeavor through, I got distracted from my break time and went back to work.

I was trying to upload some important files for a customer and sent him a link to the file folder. No proofreading, no double check. I just clicked SEND.

My customer replied, saying that the link in the email was not to the project files he was expecting. Apparently, instead of pasting the link to my customer’s files, I accidentally pasted the Squatty Potty video link into my customer’s email.

Like Cameron desperately trying to reverse the odometer on his father’s Ferrari at the end of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, no amount of back-pedaling could undo the damage.

“It takes years to find a customer, only seconds to lose one.”

Always proofread before clicking SEND.

Day Three At The New Office

Today is my third day at my new office. I have work to do, but instead, I am watching HILARIOUS cat videos. I am not a fan of cats in the least, but videos of them doing stupid things that cats do … priceless.

One thing is evident; my work ethic is in critical condition.

I had a home office. The reason for getting a new space was to get away from my attention starved dogs. They are always touching me for some reason. When they aren’t touching me, they stare at me.

While working from home, when I was faced with the choice of working or not working, I seem to mostly choose to not work. I would escape to Facebook, Netflix, & Youtube. I would imagine cocaine feels just like these things.

When a chore was neglected, like the dishes, I would stop working and wash them.  Dog hair on the rug? Lets vacuum. Skid mark in the toilet? Get the Lysol.

If I leave skid marks in the toilet at work, there is nobody policing the toilet situation. I think I am similar to most men — in that we are capable of tolerating a high degree of filth (compared to women).

My one saving grace at my new office is the Internet is very slow.  My desire to watch videos of a 1000 degree knife cutting random things will, hopefully, diminish over time.